Results

•June 25, 2010 • 2 Comments

This will be a quick blog before I leave from work.

This weekend I’m going to my hometown to catch up with friends and family.  However, this weekend is also the weekend uni results are released.  I am currently repeating a unit which I failed in my last semester of university, which means I’ve had to stay at uni 6 more months.  Just before the exam I received an assignment back where I scored 50% and put pressure ontomy exam marks.  Hopefully I have passed.

I’ve been going through two scenarios, passing and failing, and I know either way the world is going to end.  Which is how I felt last time.  Last time it was a shock, this time I know it is a possibility so either way it comes hopefully I will deal with it well.  Not to mention not fuck up my awesome Saturday night I have planned.

The reason I felt the need to blog this is so you know where I’m coming from with the next blog post as it will be over 3 days away. 

Another reason was because today was the first day since the start of my body overhaul I have thought about something else rather than being fit and healthy.  It’s wearing me down slowly, university.  At the end of the day this six months has seen me through some very strong personal development.  I am a stronger person because of it.  I have learnt that when life kicks you down and takes a dump on your face that it’s okay to be sad about it, as long as you stand up and wash it off with disinfectant and keep trying and making goals to reach along the way.

Life to me, I have realised, has to me goal orientated.  Otherwise it just becomes a monotonous blur.

Goodbye for now,

Action Wolfe. xx

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Magic Pills.

•June 24, 2010 • Leave a Comment

So – the visit to the doctor went well.  It confirmed I was doing the right thing, but at the same time has got me all confused.  I have been weighing myself on my scales at home and have lost 9kg.  When I weighed in at the doctors I have lost 13kg.  Ok – I know a weight is a weight, but when it is one of your goals you monitor it.  I’ve decided to say I’ve lost the middle ground of the two when people ask.

I think people are seeing the weight come off me so fast and think “Wow, his doctor gave him magic pills!  I want some of them.”  To those people, get fucked (bahaha).  I have had a total eating overhaul, as well as dragging my arse off the couch every single day and doing some form of exercise.  It’s been fucking hard work.  True if I hadn’t had the pill I wouldn’t be as far along as I am, but the thing is I have learnt so much about my body in 3 weeks than I have in my whole lifetime.  I have read all the blogs and cases where people have lost 15kg and then came off the tablets and piled it all back on again.  I know the risks, but they also don’t mention any full on lifestyle changes.  The difference here is that I have, and also I refuse to turn back the clock and be that heavy EVER again.

The biggest positive that my doctor could have told me today however he did.  All my life my blood pressure has been high for my age.  Being a bigger boy, although I hate it when people refer to overweight people as ‘big boy’, my heart was under stress trying to circulate my blood.  Today my blood pressure sits at a normal healthy range, in two months I go back in and get my cholesterol checked.  Hopefully it has gone down because my family history shows high cholesterol is a common occurrence in our genes.

This makes me incredibly happy.

The biggest thing I’m looking forward to is seeing if my snoring stops once my weight decreases.  I don’t know that I do it, but people can’t stand to sleep next to me when I’m sounding like a chainsaw in their ear.  Haha.

Oh well, I think I need to sleep.

My mind is too overactive for this time of night.

xx Action Wolfe.

Plateu

•June 23, 2010 • Leave a Comment

At the moment, during my transition through life itself and the corrections I’m making to my lifestyle, I am having moments where time stands still. I am waiting for my Uni results to start putting my three possible life directions I have planned in my life. The other thing is me waiting and bring patient with the weight loss. Both are processes that I set in motion, both are processes that I wish happened earlier in my life, both are processes which are going to be long in the meantime if I’m not patient both can revert back to what they were previously.

These speed bumps in life make who you are. The make you who you are. They have made me thick skinned, ambitious and goal orientated. I have all the reasons in the world to go through with all this.

This isn’t why I’m scared of who I’m becoming, but rather scared because I love who I once was, love who i am at the present time, but how much change can happen before other things are affected in good and bad ways? The last week my weight has hardly changed compared to the first two weeks. I can feel the muscle development and the fat reducing in my body. I know it’s ok to stay the same weight if it’s building muscle, as muscle weighs three times more than fat, but all my life the scales have been the deciding factor that has affected me more than any thing else. They are a judge that simply says what it’s programed to whether it be good news or bad.

I know it’s wrong to think that, but attempting to feel positive when the numbers aren’t changing is frustrating. It is happening, and this will take time. The most important thing for anyone else, also myself, to remember is that life changes are not just physical. If you have mental strength you have more ability to go through with any goals you set. I decided today that having weightloss as my only long term goal wasn’t healthy, so have made another goal for this time period too, but I shall share that with you another day. Doctors tomorrow, first weight in, let’s see how this goes.

With food diary in hand and a fresh jogging session in my stride, wish me goodluck.

Xx Action Wolfe

Change

•June 16, 2010 • Leave a Comment

Originally posted @ Actionwolfe.blogspot.com.au

I have posted this here, because this is the moment that spurred on this new blog.

Change is the reason why I need to outlet myself to this site.

Enjoy.  – Action Wolfe

So I talked about change in my last blog.  The reason I didn’t really want to talk about it was because I am still coming to terms with a lot in my head.

Within the last 11 days I have had a total health overhaul.  I decided enough was enough and have made big advances in where I am with myself.  At times now I can see the goals, at times I fears slipping back to where I was.  Within 11 days I have lost close to 7 kilos, became a hell of a lot fitter and starting to understand what I was doing wrong within the lifestyle I was living in.  It was not healthy, but I learnt to be that way from a young age.  In saying that I do not blame the people who brought me up, I love them to pieces, they were doing their best to bring me up strong and healthy.  I have to unlearn my bad habits.

Over the last 2 weeks I have been hit with these sudden realisations of what the old me was like.  I had incorrect portion sizes. I had incorrect diatary ideals.  I had a lack of enthusiasm for exercise.  Now, I am trying to correct all these. Normally weight loss would go slowly and be a long drawn out process, and it should be.  But with the help of my doctor I have been able to speed it up.  Because it has happened quickly, for the first time I realised how big of an impact 7 kilos can make.  Clothes that are baggy on me now were tight two weeks ago.  I actually ran last night during my exercise session and enjoyed it.  I feel like I’m coming forward in bounds and leaps.

The moment that hit the the worst however, is at my birthday dinner.  I watched a member of my family consume a large amount of food.  Whilst watching in awe, suddenly realised that was once me.  My mother and sister kept asking if I wanted to try some of theirs, or I could finish their plate for them.  That’s when it struck.  I was a living garbage disposal.  I declined.  On the way home I had images of me scoffing in the middle of a restraunt and my family just going on with life as if me doing that was normal because they were used to it.  On the way home I burst into tears.  First sad ones, and then they turned into tears of happiness. I have finally found the power to escape this grasp being overweight has on me.

Sure I have a long way to go, but I believe this time I am going to get there.  I am going to enjoy life instead of living behind a facade of happiness.  I refuse to go back to the weight that I was, and I refuse to stay at the weight that I am at.  No matter how slow or drawn out the process is.

Yes, this blog has a common connection between the posts that is love.  This is the post where I tell you that I am trying to love myself, because where I was at two weeks ago was me being comfortable with myself.  But I didn’t love me, and if you can’t say you love being you your life wont eventuate.  Or it will, just a dull and uncolourful version of it.

xx Action Wolfe