Intoxicated Realisations

So at the ball I drank.  I mingled.  I was a socialite.  I didn’t know how to take compliments, so at these times I went quiet.

Still nothing seemed to sit right with me.

Do you ever get drunk and just keep reassessing your life? 

I ended up ditching the crew I was with (sorry guys, wasn’t personal) and walked to a taxi rank across town.  All the way trying to figure out what the missing peice of the puzzla actually was.  I still don’t know.  That wasn’t the realisation I had.  The realisation was that something was missing.  Which is quite somber if you don’t like deep thoughts and over analysing your living, but it seems to be something that comes to me when I’m drinking alcohol.

I don’t know why I used to think losing weight would solve all my problems.  I think that that deluded me into a false sense of self will to loose weight.  Now I’m on my way, I have realised my weight isn’t the only thing stopping life from going on but was only a small part of any problems I had in life.

I also think I’m going to go on heat again soon (I call it going on heat because it’s a joke me and my friend have).  I can got for four months not thinking about guys in more than a check out, then suddenly out of nowhere for three weeks straight it’s the only thing I think about.  Like a cat on heat, I have the same behaviour patterns…. except the bleeding and the constant high pitch meows.  I’ve noticed myself getting more and more interested over the last week – it’s going to hit any day now.

xx Action Wolfe.

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~ by actionwolfe on July 10, 2010.

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